Oh Yes
by XxTheRuffianHadesxX
Summary: Follow-up to "World's Greatest Phone Call". One of the crackiest things ever written, featuring Draco, Lucius, L, Light, and Snape. And my infamous OC, of course. Feel free to listen in on this telephone conversation.


1**A/N: This is even more crack-induced then my last 'Phone Call' fic, and I doubt ANYONE besides Kitsune (WritingMisery) will understand ANY OF THIS. Well, Chika might, but her sense of humor isn't as deranged as mine, I believe. Anyway, anyone besides Kitty, you have been warned. Kitty, if you're reading this, I know this is entirely random and stupid, but I advise you to read on. (Oh yes.)**

"Stop calling me, Draco!" Machi stood with her back against the wall as she cried, exasperated, into the phone.

"B-But....I lurve you!" The blonde on the other end whimpered, pouting.

"I...don't...care." Machi slid to the ground. "You're practically harassing me with all these phone calls, and no one can get through when they try to call anymore." The girl sighed.

"You don't love me?" Draco sounded hurt. Machi sighed.

"Listen, Ferret Boy, it's not that I don't love you, it's just...I'm unhappy. Suffocated. Get it?" She tried to explain lightly. Dorco sounded like he was going to burst into tears at any moment as it was, she didn't want him blubbering over the phone to her.

"You're...unhappy? You have _me _and you're unhappy?" He asked, sniffling. "But...you.....you have _me_!" He repeated.

"Don't be so full of yourself." Machi narrowed her eyes.

"You have me and I'm gorgeous! I'm nice to you and all...and...I'm rich! If you're unhappy, I'll buy you anything you want to make you happy again!"

"Draco, this isn't going to help anything." Machi sighed, but she was ignored.

"You want a puppy? I'll get you a puppy. How 'bout another new broom? What about a servant, a slave? Oh! I'll buy _Potter_ and make _him _your servant? How about that, Mach?" Draco was speaking quickly now.

"Malfoy! I don't want you to buy me anything! I don't want anything to do with you!" Machi practically yelled into her cell phone. There was a small moment of silence and Machi hoped she had finally gotten through to the boy.

"So you _don't _want a puppy?"

"Draco!!"

"Alright, alright!...How does a monkey sound?"

"If you're going to go around giving out monkeys, , put me on the list." Machi glanced at her cell phone in confusion at the sound of Snape's voice.

"Why is Snape there?" She asked, puzzled.

"I'm not sure. Professor, why are you here?" Draco asked.

"Fifty points from Slytherin for meddling in my business, Draco." Snape said.

"Awww..." Draco sighed.

"What about monkeys?" A new voice asked in the background at Draco's house.

"Mr. Yagami, I advise you to stop following me." Snape seethed.

"But....my love for you will drive me to insanity if I'm not by your side at all times!" Light insisted.

"Uh...Why are these people at your house, Draco?" Machi asked, completely forgetting the previous conversation.

"I don't know, but I'm frightened. I MUST FLEE! FORGIVE ME, MY LOVE!" Draco cried, his voice gradually fading.

Did he really just leave the phone here? Machi asked herself, the conversation still going on.

"Mr. Yagami, I implore you to put your shirt _back on_." Snape could be heard again, and Machi's eyes widened.

"Never!" Light said confidently.

"What's this?" A deadpan voice was new to the scene.

"L!" Light said. "I...How did you get here?"

"I took the bus." There was a pause. "How could you do this to me? You know I'm dying of Scoliosis...."

"But you're not–" Light began.

"SILENCE. I take a bus all the way to...here and I find you seducing a Potions Master?" L asked. "Hm. You can come pack your things later."

"But L–!" Light began. "Please! Don't....I have no where else to go!"

"Oh yes, what have we here?" Lucius's cane could be heard clicking against the floor in the background. "A lover's quarrel? Including a shirtless boy? Oh....yes. Please continue."

"I still love you, L!" Light said. "I just...find Sevy _oh so _infatuating."

"What did you just call me?" Snape asked, sounding disgusted.

"You can't make me choose!" Light cried.

"Yes, I can. Either go home and get your shit, or I'm burning it."

"Nuuuu!" Light cried, his footsteps fading quickly. Machi guessed he had run away.

"Well that was an ordeal. Two points to Ravenclaw, Mr. Ryuzaki, for taking care of him for me."

"Two points? Don't be a tight-ass, Professor." L said.

"Alright, fine. One hundred points to Ravenclaw."

"That's better." L said. "Now I must go gorge myself with sugar and sweets until I give myself Type 2 Diabetes. Tootles." At this, his voice was gone.

"What an odd time this has been." Lucius mused. Machi stared at the wall as she listened to the rest of this conversation.

"What a wonderful observation, Sr. Twenty points to Slytherin." Snape said.

"But alas, I'm no longer in school."

"No matter. Slytherin could always do with some extra points." Snape coughed. Machi sighed.

"So...Severous...What are your thoughts on frozen yogurt?" Lucius asked casually.

"I enjoy frozen yogurt very much, Lucius. What are you implying?" Snape replied.

"I'm implying that we go out and get some frozen yogurt." Lucius answered.

"Oh yes." Snape said.

"That's my line." Lucius said. Machi took the cell phone from her ear and pressed the red button.


End file.
